And Back Again

Once again, I've taken up residence at SMHospital. This time, pneumonia and bacteria in the blood. Since the odds of being put on the double lung transplant have grown slimmer, the odds of my body being able to make it through surgery and recovery and after a great deal of contemplation, I've decided to refocus. My team agrees. That means that I go back to managing symptoms and living my best life. It's not giving up, for me, it's how I want to spend the moment I am in. I wonder if it's age that helps you realize how precious that is. Or, has it been living with chronic disease or the teachings of some great spiritual leaders? Maybe it's a bit of all these. It's not giving up, far from it. For me, it's doing the best I can do to be present now. First thing, the feeding tube will be removed...23 more ounces of fluid a day!! I'll keep plugging along with trying to gain some strength and endurance. And, savor my moments.